Ramadhan Reflections Day 17

– For this day, i tried to find ways of looking at how Islam view women. There are Hadiths that says women must serve their husbands. Its kinda unreasonable to take this blindly. In my search for answers, i saw this portion of message from a Muslim woman scholar:


“Stop complaining about the house. Women do not like drudgery. Laundry is drudgery. Picking up junk is drudgery. Dishes are drudgery.


It is often said that the Prophet would help out at home. This is not true. The hadith does not say “kāna yusā id fī baitihi,” rather it says, “kāna ya mal fī baitihi”. This is a semantic difference, but it is an important distinction.


To say he worked at home as any one of you work at home is to take on the responsibility of the home. To say he helped means he’s a good guy ‘cause he picked up his towel…


Housework is not the Islamic duty of the Muslim woman. Indeed in the anafī madhhab, it is required that a Muslim man relieve her of such duties with household help, and if he does not, then at least to compensate her for those duties if she does them.


So imagine the sin incurred by the man who not only doesn’t work at home, does not provide for household help, and does not hand over cash in excess, but also complains and whines about the state of the house, or uses the state of the house to limit her goings and comings, or worse: yells at her because HIS laundry isn’t done. These are sins incurred and hanging heavily around the necks of our men today.


Start imitating the Prophet , not by ‘helping’ at home, but by taking responsibility. Change the culture –remember Muslim women are not first and foremost your cleaning ladies. Your wife is not your in-house maid, and neither is your mother.


Thus if she does clean the house and you have magic drawers – drawers in which, every time you open them, you discover clean socks and clean shirts –then you are at the receiving end of her good will and charity. Treat her in the same way you would treat anyone else who went out of their way on a daily basis to make your life easier to live – by making hers easier to live.”


– May we learn from this message and treat our wife,mother, sister nicely and give the respect they truly deserve.


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